Two weeks to Merdeka and the whole country's abuzz, putting up flags like their lives depended upon it. If being patriotic means putting up a flag, then why do we only do it once a year?
I've always thought that I would always remain in my 'Tanahair', even when my friends had migrated or sought employment overseas, never wishing to return. I always thought I thought different.
But lately I find myself doubting. Lately I've begun to give up hope. Because...
I've heard of traffic policemen asking for bribe money.
I've been in meetings with government officials, during which 10% was serious discussion, 40% was repeating the 10% over and over again unnessecarily, and 50% was not related to work. Also, during which, we HAD to eat 'karipap' and drink 'teh'. Also, during which, their other fellow colleagues were at the staff canteen to have THEIR 'karipap' and 'teh'. All of that DURING working hours.
I've seen discounts given for unpaid summons, indirectly rewarding those who paid late and punishing those who paid on time.
I've seen 'gifts' being given to goverment officials, and later they asked for more.
I've blown up at an official who said to me that a man having an affair is 'ok what!' because the law condones him marrying four wives.
I've calculated the Bumi discount I won't be getting when I buy property.
I'm angry that the newspapers report Teoh Beng Hock's death 'pointed towards suicide' when we all know that that's a big lie.
I'm irritated that Bank Negara spends time and money coming up with new designs for our Ringgit, and then changing their minds again soon after (Why the heavy RM1 coin in the first place? What's wrong with the old RM50 note?)
I'm worried when I see the Education Ministry keep changing their policies. First, use English is good; Now, use English is bad. I think back about my own education and I'm surprised I turned out half decent. But will my children?
I feel sad that we all know that roadblocks are more frequent during the festive season, because the policemen want more money to have either a decent celebration or just a more elaborate one.
I feel irritated that I have to state my Race and Religion in any official forms.
I feel angry that the goverment is using taxpayers money to train unemployed graduates in expensive settings, invite companies to meetings at expensive venues, serve expensive food, give expensive gifts, provide expensive accomodation so that they will take in the unemployed fools. If you have half a brain and is willing to work hard, then it's impossible to not get a job.
I've heard of a situation which I know to be true, whereby a municipal council official said "boleh bincang" when he meant, "if you bribe me, I'll help you."
Malaysia is being ran by fools and racists.
Now when my friends talk about migrating, I don't say "Nevah!". Instead I ask, "Where is a nice place to migrate to?"
Is there any hope left?
I was in Hannah Yeoh's office a month ago. Her husband was greeting people who entered and directed them accordingly. Talk about transparency, her office walls are wholly glass! She's there many nights a week just to meet with the people in her constituency to answer their questions and listen to their woes. I was glad to see that she actually did the work she was suppose to (as oppose to the rest of you-know-whos).
So, with the tiny ray of hope I have left, I asked my family this morning whether we'd get a 'new' goverment after the next election. They were skeptical. Even if it happened, how do we know whether the new goverment is just a devil in sheep's clothing? When we've been betrayed for so long, you can't blame us for being pessimistic.
As I end this entry, I'm feeling detached from my 'Tanahair', a word I type with much cynism. I don't feel much proud to be Girl Malaysia now, just disappointment. I look at my country with a sad pain in my heart and think, 'What a waste.'
